i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize