somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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