STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
