Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
