His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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