I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
