I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
