I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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