This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
