he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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