Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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