I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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