Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
