I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
