Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
