I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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