I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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