tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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