We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
