I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We got so high we made milksteak
Girls should come with a carfax report
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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