Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
