can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
