Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
