he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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