i was born a porn star she said
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so let's talk penis.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
