Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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