I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize