Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
