Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
