I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize