i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
