I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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