this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
