she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
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Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Randomize