Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
