just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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