your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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