he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
