You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
