Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
