if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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