it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
