she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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