no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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