dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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