Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
