Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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