I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
