So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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