woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
