some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
