Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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