I'm lost and stupid without you.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
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You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
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Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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