Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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