Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
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He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
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I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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