I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
