Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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