I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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