She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
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I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
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I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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